If the human brain is the most powerful part of the our bodies, can it not also be the weakest?
We have all heard it over and over again:
"It's mind over matter."
"Think positive!"
"It's all in your mind."
"You're just imagining things."
Well, what if this powerful part of our body that is able to tell the rest of the body how to respond, react and reply is not the strong suit of armor that we thought it was??
What if the thing we have yet to mapped out is what both protects and demolishes??
It is quite easy for me to become trapped in my mind. I don't mean to sound all 'Ghost Whisperer' on you or something, but I tend to fix my attention on insignificant details and flaws for days at a time. I worry so easily. I can turn the same four minute conversation over in my head for days at a time and still not be satisfied. And in the midst of the current obsession, I neglect whatever is around me. I do not respond well to people or I forget to eat or I wear the same shirt three days in a row.
I worry.
I would go so far as to say that I invite worry. I set aside a teacup and a comfy overstuffed chair just so Anxiety may come to stay a while to chat with me.
There's something about being a girl that includes the issue of becoming trapped in one's own thoughts. Even though the weaker sex talks so much, we camouflage our corner of Anxiety with an afghan of Feminine Complexities so we may be able to avoid spring cleaning in that particular corner.
This thought of Control will go further by saying this:
Who sits in your comfy overstuffed chair??
Is it Anxiety?? Is it just you?? Is it the Enemy??
I have found that in the times I struggle most with thoughts of worry and doubt and self-loathing are the times that I can barely hear the Truth. The seductive whispers of the Enemy are so close to me that they come closer and closer to blocking the call of my Savior declaring songs of Love.
Do you want to know the scary part??
Sometimes I think I want to listen to the Lies and the Worry and the Doubt and the Self Hatred instead of dwelling in the Truth. It's so much easier for me to kick myself than it is to submit to disciplined and loving pruning by my Savior.
This shouldn't happen, right?? I should want only to bask knowing my Savior dances and sings over me and have a burning desire to show others this devotion!
Is there something wrong with me that I push away Desire to request Deceit??
The Answer:
Yeah. There's something wrong with a girl not wanting to hear that she is treasured so she can listen to a bully's taunting. There's something wrong with a woman rejecting Prince Charming for the Villain. There's something wrong with a lady turning down a palace so she can claim cardboard as her home. There's something wrong with a person inviting a threat, a disease, a robber in to share close quarters when they know better.
I have a problem trusting that God really does know what's best for me. He's kept His promises so far so I shouldn't have an issue with it, right??
Well, even thought God is faithful, I am forgetful. I always believe that little whisper that introduces the idea that "Maybe this time, He'll forget to give me the best." But even when I forget to listen to the voice of my Shepherd, He is faithful to remind me to listen.
There's a reason why the bible refers to people as 'sheep'. We're pretty dumb. We don't think of the consequences of our actions and we end up getting hurt or lost. It's a good thing our Shepherd is never going to say, "Eh, she'll come back on her own. I don't need to go find her right now. Maybe she'll learn a lesson this time about leaving the herd." What kind of shepherd would that be??
Our God is faithful. He will never let us run too far from His grace.
[1 Corinthians 10:13]
There is always a voice that bellows and pleads to repeat the same Truth ...
... I am His.
