My dad's dad passed away on Thursday. I was never close with him. I saw him probably about 10 times in my life and received the classic birthday cards signed with only a name and contained a few dollars.
So I really shouldn't be that sad over losing him, right??
Wrong.
I've only mourned over losing people I know I'll see again.
When Ellen Burns died, I wept but I know I can worship with her when I die.
When Grandma George died, I wept but I get to sing with her and drown out the angels.
When Grandma Guerry died, I wept but I get to dance with her at the feet of God.
I will never see Grandpa Durrant again. I never saw him while he was living but I'll never get to sing my heaven song with him or dance with him. I'm fine with losing him physically. But to know that he is forever spiritually lost is breaking me down.
He was not a Christian. Every time anyone in my family would see him, we'd start talking with him about what God's doing in our lives. We wanted to share our lives with him. He never wanted to listen. When I was about 5 years old, Grandpa Durrant had a tea party with me. I remember it so clearly. I wore my Easter dress and a hat and we had tea in my pretty, pink china that my dad had gotten me from Poland. We set the table, smoothed out the wrinkles from the tablecloth and he helped me make cucumber tea sandwiches and arranged them on little plates. We sat down to tea and I started telling him about Jesus. He tried to change the subject but I wouldn't have it. I kept talking about Jesus.
Finally, he got up and walked away.
He walked away from Jesus his whole life.
A few hours before my dad called to tell me about his dad, I got this strange feeling. The kind of feeling you get when you're standing at the kitchen counter or your desk and you can feel someone behind you. Only there was never anyone behind me. It was so strange! I was feeling this way up until last night [Saturday night].
I kept having dreams as well. Dreams of fire and darkness. And I could hear screaming. The kind of screams that come from mothers that can't find their children. The screams that come from men unable to hold their families ever again.The screams that come from children after a night terror. The screams that come from the worst pain you can ever imagine.
I would wake up screaming with them.
I was dreaming about people being separated. In the beginning of Genesis, death means spiritual death, not physical death. And this spiritual death doesn't mean you are buried in some other world or you become reincarnated. It means you are separated from God. We cannot live without Him so to be eternally torn apart from Him is the ultimate death.
I'm not mourning for the physical death of a man I hardly knew. I mourning for the spiritual death of a man that never wanted Life.
I know this sounds all "preachy" but I'm telling you the truth about what's going on in my heart.
I've made a choice to walk with God.
He made choices to walk away from God.
So I really shouldn't be that sad over losing him, right??
Wrong.
I've only mourned over losing people I know I'll see again.
When Ellen Burns died, I wept but I know I can worship with her when I die.
When Grandma George died, I wept but I get to sing with her and drown out the angels.
When Grandma Guerry died, I wept but I get to dance with her at the feet of God.
I will never see Grandpa Durrant again. I never saw him while he was living but I'll never get to sing my heaven song with him or dance with him. I'm fine with losing him physically. But to know that he is forever spiritually lost is breaking me down.
He was not a Christian. Every time anyone in my family would see him, we'd start talking with him about what God's doing in our lives. We wanted to share our lives with him. He never wanted to listen. When I was about 5 years old, Grandpa Durrant had a tea party with me. I remember it so clearly. I wore my Easter dress and a hat and we had tea in my pretty, pink china that my dad had gotten me from Poland. We set the table, smoothed out the wrinkles from the tablecloth and he helped me make cucumber tea sandwiches and arranged them on little plates. We sat down to tea and I started telling him about Jesus. He tried to change the subject but I wouldn't have it. I kept talking about Jesus.
Finally, he got up and walked away.
He walked away from Jesus his whole life.
A few hours before my dad called to tell me about his dad, I got this strange feeling. The kind of feeling you get when you're standing at the kitchen counter or your desk and you can feel someone behind you. Only there was never anyone behind me. It was so strange! I was feeling this way up until last night [Saturday night].
I kept having dreams as well. Dreams of fire and darkness. And I could hear screaming. The kind of screams that come from mothers that can't find their children. The screams that come from men unable to hold their families ever again.The screams that come from children after a night terror. The screams that come from the worst pain you can ever imagine.
I would wake up screaming with them.
I was dreaming about people being separated. In the beginning of Genesis, death means spiritual death, not physical death. And this spiritual death doesn't mean you are buried in some other world or you become reincarnated. It means you are separated from God. We cannot live without Him so to be eternally torn apart from Him is the ultimate death.
I'm not mourning for the physical death of a man I hardly knew. I mourning for the spiritual death of a man that never wanted Life.
I know this sounds all "preachy" but I'm telling you the truth about what's going on in my heart.
I've made a choice to walk with God.
He made choices to walk away from God.
Which way are you walking??
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